Transformers: The quintessential Bay film *UPDATED WITH PICS*

by: bamf 1 year, 1 month, 3 weeks, 6 days, 8 hours, 11 minutes ago

 

Bamf here rematerializing from the void..

UPDATE AT BOTTOM!

Transformers is that perfect summer film.  It is every 12 year olds wet dream filled with spectacle, hot girls and huge ass robots beating the crap err oil out of one another.  The writers flip some conventions and Bay holds true to his, as the pace never lets up save for exposition that sounds far better out of a cartoon head.  I had this little rowl with my friend when I told him to take his intellectual hat off for a moment, he responded with this.

Well perhaps he’s right, but from the first moment the dialogue began I decided to throw the hat into the fire, sit back and enjoy. Though it does creep up here and there, I’m going to leave that hat alone; after all, it’s the privilege of a college drop out.  That in itself is a intellectual decision, but lets not cross eyes.

I was looking up movies to take in through the week; I’m a bit behind due to standing as Best Man for my Best Mate’s wedding in Alaska.  Rescue Dawn is a film I’ll be reviewing soon and it’s on a limited release in L.A. and N.Y. I stumbled upon the Arclight homepage looking for showtimes and on the splash page they had listings for Transformers debut.  About 7 showings—all nearly sold out save for one seat at the 8:11pm screening.  For those not knowing, the Arclight is located in Hollywood CA off Sunset and Vine. It is the single greatest theater I have ever been to.  I entered from the parking garage in through the back door.  You buy your assigned seat, so no needing to get in the queue for the choice spot, and there is not one bad seat in the house even if you are up front. Seats are well padded, a bit like first class in an airplane without the leather and the ability to recline.  No ads play before the film, only trailers, and the music that fills the hall comes straight from the great scores of the years.  If you show up after the film starts, no admittance.  The usher just prior to starting the show comes out and gives a quick speech about turning off anything that makes noise. They will check the picture and sound levels habitually to ensure quality of presentation, and above all else, shut the F up once the show starts.  It’s a film lover’s utopia.  I love the Arclight.

Transformers is the Michael Bay film.  All those years of jingoistic hymns and swooping camera pans learned fit effortlessly in the story.  In the 80s I recall these marketing post cards that had a business printed on a thin sheet of what appeared to be dehydrated cardboard.  When you ran said board under a faucet the piece would spring to life and become a sponge 10 times its original size.  This is a fitting analogy for Transformers, an otherwise niche 80s property that required a gushing of Bay to engorge the experience and bring it to life. 

I’m known to annoy those around me by changing songs frequently before they are finished—there are certain songs that just wear out their welcome and my deficiency in attention gets the better of me most times.  The movie trucks along at break neck speed never giving the audience a moment to take in any of the moments of disbelief and Bay’s need to have hypertime to move the story along.  It turns from one adrenalin rush to the next only slowed down by the exposition of Optimus Prime from time to time which in itself is forgiven because it is Peter Cullen himself giving delivery.  Really this would never have worked without Peter Cullen, his voice is Transformers, and even the uninitiated will be wondering just who that earthy rasp of a voice was.  When dealing with big F’ing robots, every scene is a set piece, and although the “hypertime” as I call it that Bay plays with to keep the pace blistering is forgivable, you have to wonder how it stays night so damn long.  Oh ya, FX is easier to pull off at night.. (Damn there’s that hat again)

Sure they cheat a little, and at times the action might just move too fast for the brain to take in proper, but it all works great, and looks amazing.  ILM really stepped up for this film and their mix of practical props and CGI is seamlessly produced.  What awe in its challenge and Bay was right to twist the designs of the bots for a more dynamic take on the vehicles.  While Spiderman 3 had some great work in it, Transformers may have just outdone it by a hair, but it might not be fair to compare the two, is it? 

They twisted some typical conventions you are trained to know. They make the Blonde girl the smart one, the brunette the A-typical hottie.  Cameos are abundant with Bernie Mac stealing his scene, as well as Rick Gomez and John Tuturro (not so much a cameo) giving proper comic relief.  The guy who phoned it all in has to be Jon Voight who comes out playing the same beat over and over again, never flexing an acting muscle the whole time.  If only they could have resurrected Peter Sellers for that role, he would have been brilliant and the film better for it.  CG?

Rip offs, or homage’s (when I told a coworker that Heroes ripped off Watchmen, he said no, that’s called homage. It’s great getting corrected by someone who has not read nor watched either), however you want to put it are a plenty.  So let us just call it a tip of the cap to things like: the score from American Beauty, C-3PO on Chewies back, flare usage from The Rock, Kill Bill, as well as a sweet nod to doing a Rocket launcher jump in a Quake death match.  A host of others, but I forgot my pen before going into the theater.

Transformers is a must see in-theater experience.  When you get it home after spending thousands of dollars on your hi-def home theater, it will replace the pod race sequence from The Phantom Menace.  Naysayers be damned, Ang Lee would never be right for this, Bay was the right man for the job and his eye for the grandeur of it all.  The one thing I missed was a human Transformers suit like the one in the original movie.  When the cube is miniaturized I almost was certain that Shia LeBeouf was going to get to use it for his own third act surprise needs.  They must be saving that moment for the sequel.  Leave the adult at home and come to see Transformers with the eyes of a prepubescent youngster and prepare for one hell of a ride.

*Supplemental* I exited through the main doors and the scene was circus like.  Multiple media wagons, cameras everywhere, and lining the theater were the actual Autobots as cars.  So damn cool, was not expecting to see that.  I pulled out my camera to start doing some shots when...the battery was dead.  I was able to get a few shots from the hip, but was unable to get the setting right for nighttime photography, so they look a bit janky.  Ill be back there on the 4th to get some day time shots.  I had my camera because after that I was going to the Kwik-E-Mart in Burbank, but with dead bats, I had to put it off.  Ill post once Im charged back up.  I saw Optimus in his flamer glory!

UPDATE

I was back at the Arclight for a screening of Rescue Dawn (review should be up in a few days) and was able to get some much better shots then I had opening night. Enjoy!

Cool, yet no heat sensitive decals to be found...BAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!

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