Spiders at Midnight (Bamfs take on SM3)

by: bamf 1 year, 6 months, 4 weeks, 1 day, 4 hours, 35 minutes ago

 

Bamf here rematerializing from the void..

Here is an excerpt of a note I wrote to myself as I walked out of the theater Thursday night/Friday morning

...but don’t panic, its just Spider-Man.

It was a night filled with electric anticipation at the midnight picture show.  These 12:01am premiers never disappoint when it comes to an audience who wants to be part of the first general public to see their coveted film.  The ages of Spider-Man 3’s audience ranged from 14 to 40, but it was mostly high school kids.  A rambunctious lot filled with that uncertain angst with that intangible need to belong, but at the same time be different.  Two hours out from showtime the place was already packed.  Given this turnout, it will be no surprise when the 100 million dollars worth of receipts come in on Monday (closer to 125 is my prediction).  When you have an audience of young and excited people to see a film, all collected in a single auditorium, you have to expect that events are going to get a little crazy leading up to the show.  The restless youth had about 10 beach balls being hit about, catcalls came from the daring and droll as either a busty blonde or Spidey-masked fan entered the forum. About 30 minutes out security had entered and taken all the balls away—the crowd turned south on them and the scene would be best described as ugly.  Now somehow every time I am at a midnight show, there always seem to be someone in there with a birthday and this night was no different.  I think this is just a reaction to kids getting bored in their seats, like telling someone your mom’s dead after they insult her economic plight or mental faculties.  So 5 minutes out the now seemingly sold out show was joined together in a birthday chorus.  Then the staff came out to the front and announced it was time for the premier of SM3.  Not a moment too soon the crowd was starting to resemble the scene from Gremlins when Snow White is being screened.  It was time for the show.

Raimis’ film shows why he was correct in never wanting to do anything with Venom as was stated in numerous interviews of the past couple years.  In effort to give balance to the evil nature of the black suit, he really went over the top when it came to making Peter Parker look like an utter buffoon.  This is a natural staple of story telling, match water to rock, give opposing emotions and find your moments to underscore the weight of the character’s world.  But this nuance was done so poorly I’m working on the theory that it may very well have been done so intentionally.  I think Raimi and crew are done with the franchise, and as one last movement they made sure that the audience would be left with a sour taste after their last installment.  There is no question on whether Spider-Man 4 will happen, but it wont be with the same billing ever again.  The film plays so far to camp that at one point my mind was wandering and I began to make excuses for what was going on.  This cannot be the real movie I thought, I’m in some sort of joke theater, ha-ha, wtf?  In that fleeting moment it was only a misstep in judgment like wanting to believe there’s a 7-foot rabbit named Harvey.

This was Superman 2 all over again—merged with the 60’s Batman television shows.  But Sam Raimi is no Richard Lester, which makes this unacceptable.  And there in lies the problems I have with this offering.  With the rumored 300+ million dollar budget, I see how every penny was spent perfectly when it comes to the FX of the film.  But just dazzling spectacles of multi angled heroism a good film does not make.  There are genuine moments that pull you right back into the film and deliver the expected and un-expected.  The emotion however runs dry and my audience was rolling in the aisles laughing…during scenes that were supposed to be poignantly addressed.  When your Peter Parker is crying for the third time on the screen, and each time the audience reacts with laughter, the story has failed.  Given the history of the character Gwen Stacy, and taking in how she was utilized in this, her wasted stint should have been left to the pages of Spider-Man lore.  The infamous Jazz club scene when Peter is really turning the screws on his “darkness” was the deathblow for the picture.  And when Gwen decides to get the hell out of there, the only thing she forgot to do was ask Parker for her eyeliner back.
And come-on, you put mascara on Spidey.  You have to be kidding me, and I’m not even going to touch the ridiculous goth/alternateen hair.  Boooooooooo.

The only characters that shine in this are Mary Jane and Harry both in acting as well as the story.  Although I am still trying to rinse the awful stench of his participation of that preview screening I took in a few weeks ago; James Franco puts a solid performance in giving the material he had to work with.  Even when giving the task to paint a table of fruit, an ability I was not aware of for the Goblin he is still charming just the same.  There’s also the diner scene when Harry is defecating on Peters heart that mirrors the same setting in Spider-Man 2, including MJ’s, or would it be Kirstens Dunst’s lazy eye?  The best spin I could place on it is, great attention to detail?  I’m not a Dunst hater like so many out there.  I feel she did wonderful in her last reprisal of Mary Jane Watson.  There are moments that feel a little to self reflective on the real actress, instead of the story’s character that brings welcome relative emotion to a film that mostly is just spinning its wheels in disgrace.  The best reason to see Spider-Man 3 multiple times will be without a doubt Bruce Campbell’s cameo.  He holds the best laugh out loud performance this year thus far, and I can only thank him for it.

The problems with SM3 for me can be best summarized like this.  Sony/fans demanded that the director take on story line he wanted nothing to do with, they spent far too much time making this film as you never can really nail down what color MJ’s hair is as it changes from red to auburn to brownish blond (tis my guess that she was not wearing the wig this time around as done in the previous installments, great call for a what, 3 year schedule? Did they learn nothing from LOTR?), and I don’t think they had Spider-Man do one jaunting quip the entire movie.  Danny Elfman, the series composer walked away from the film a while ago, and has been very outspoken on how he will not work with Raimi ever again and the score certainly suffers for it.  That’s sad as the director and the composer had a long relationship and as I understood it, Raimi was asking Elfman to essentially rip musical cues directly out of his past work, like Darkman for the presentation in SM3 (and this only helps my theory that Raimi really just phoned this one in).  Given the tone Elfman uses when he was speaking about the debacle, I half suspect he knew what was going to be the end product of the whole, and wanted nothing to do with it.

If you loved the movie today, you will hate it tomorrow.  This third installment just does not match up with the prior two.  But don’t panic, its just Spider-Man—right?

{about}