Bamfkom-Octobehorrorfest

by: bamf 11 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, 13 hours, 29 minutes ago 7

Bamf here rematerializing from the void..

This begins a series of articles I will be writing about the films I grew up with.  Since I have shared with this audience how much of a non-horror fan I am, I figure that it is best to start here where I am weakest—and I think it’s October.  I put this to you as a homework assignment, get the Netflix queue up or head to your local store and have a little film fest of your own.  Choose at least two from the list or add one of your own.  Gather the friends, cook some popcorn and blast the 5.1 surround sound (or crank the in-set speakers) ignoring the neighbors cries for eviction.  These are films best shared; just don’t leave the lights on.

How Bamf remembers it

Slacker boy Anton loses control over his hand after it is possessed by a blood thirsty demon that wants to take Molly’s soul to hell.  This is inconsequential since Molly is played by Jessica Alba, who for me is the devil herself.

Why Bamf loves it

The Cast.  Devon Sawa gives a comedic performance without trying to be funny.  He is quite physical and reminiscent of Chevy Chase from his SNL years.  His casting works well because you can make him look like a dirt bag, but he is charming enough to get Molly since he would probably piss her parents off terribly.  When I first saw this in theaters I distinctly recall being enamored with Jessica Alba. I was getting over my crush of Alicia Silverstone, and had sworn off love for untouchables forever, but She-devil Alba pulled me back in like Pacino at a canoli festival.  And then there is the always brilliant, comedic genius, don’t-forget-I-was-in-Airborne and Pump Up the Volume, Seth Green.  Seth is how you would imagine Seth being in real life, only dead, with a bottle sticking out of his head.  Kyle Gass has a cameo too, and worth mentioning because it only became a cameo after the success of Tenacious D.

Good times are had when watching this, the gore is balanced with the scare, and Jessica Alba lives.

What IMDB has to say about it

-The dish soap that Anton squirts into his mouth after attempting to smoke Nutmeg and Oregano is real dish soap. Sawa came up with the gag on the spot.

-The film, in which the main character kills his parents and his two best friends (albeit not intentionally), was delayed in its release because of the Columbine massacre.

How Bamf remembers it

Game wizard Kyle (not Fred Savage, but actually a young Ethan Embry) wins a home version of the game Evolver through his champion-style console play.  The home version is a small robot that plays the game in real life Laser Tag style. However its programming will not allow it to be a loser, so it adapts to the players and figures out that instead of puffy darts, maybe steel ball bearings might give it the better advantage.  Blue screens of death are had by all.

Why Bamf loves it

Besides the visceral notion of the aforementioned steel balls cracking someone across the head, a young Bamf thought if this robot could exist, he would take up the challenge.  This movie also struck a personal chord with me.  I too had a toy that wanted to kill me.  I was given at the age of five a mechanical type lizard robot with snapping teeth and horrid groans.  It was battery operated with a red button on top to activate, and another at the bottom to de-activate.  It was a game of sorts, you had a little red probe about 4 inches long so as this death-bringing snapping dragon lunged, you could jab the probe into the bottom and slay its fevered death wish.  I can’t explain why, but this toy terrified me and I was brought to tears by it.  Although it stayed in the toy box for years, I never once took it out because of the utter fear it brought out in me.  I was never able to face it again.
Closeted childhood fears aside, this film was at the end of the “computers that kill” era (or at least between).  It has crap for dialogue, and has an antagonist anyone could kick over and stomp, and no philosophical conversations on the ramifications of a machine becoming a sentient being.  But when the bot has the voice of William H. Macy, how could you not want to see it?

What IMDB has to say about it

And from reviewer Ack

-A very bad movie; rating: 1 out of 10.

P.S.  A friend of mine went to the same college Fred Savage attended, but were in different frat houses.  The story goes that one night during a frat mixer a guy came up to Fred and asked if he ever had relations with Winnie (Danika Cooper) from The Wonder Years.  Savage beat this man down with fists of fury.  When my friend asked if this was normal, he learned that Fred reacted this way every time the question was posed.  Was he protecting her honor, sick of the question, or is the story even true?  Perhaps not, but next time you see Kevin Arnold, feel free to try your luck.

How Bamf remembers it

A small town finds itself in turmoil as a serial killer starts to pick off the High School students one by one, and sometimes in two’s

Why Bamf loves it

I was 16 when this came out, and had just received the keys to my first truck (a 1980 Toyota).  In the small town of Fairbanks Alaska there was little to do in the winter time save going to the movies, so my “no horror films” mantra was not yet in effect and I would waste time watching movies like Wishmaster and (gulp) Con-air.  Scream was the movie my first love and I went and saw together on our first date.  But I went under false pretenses.  Our date was planned for Saturday, but I saw it with the boys on Friday.  So when I suggested Scream to her the next day for our movie of the night, and she asked if I had seen it yet, I lied and said no.  Not the best way to start a relationship off, and months later I confessed my indiscretion, but I did learn something valuable that you kids should take to heart.  When I revealed to her that I had seen Scream the night before it suddenly all made sense to her.  Since I was well prepared for all of the scares in the story, I never jumped once, and she clung to my arm like a piece of furniture flung off the Titanic.  This in turn made me seem quite brave to her.  But I fessed up and the illusion was lost.  So boys out there in dating land, leave the questionable ethics out of the equation and see that horror film before you take your date to it, it will all work out in the end I assure you.  And while I am giving High School dating tips, leave the dress shoes at home on Prom night and buy yourself some new black Adidas—if it’s icy where you live you will not be slipping around like a fool, and your dance moves will go un-noticed since everyone will be enthralled with the three stripes on your feet.

Back to the film, Kevin Williamson struck gold with this script literally and figuratively.  It was his first, and created a bidding war amongst studios—not bad for a freshmen outing.  Its self-aware dialogue and smooth pacing gave the actors plenty to chew on.  This was the slasher film for me.  Nothing could compare to the level of kick-ass it brought, much like watching a professional basketball game with no Michael Jordan.  Because of Scream’s success, Williamson created a little show for a new network.  That network, WB, the show, Dawson’s Creek (Joey was based on Neve Cambells character Sydney).  Dawson’s Creek was one of my favorite shows up to the point when the show no longer had Dawson, and or a creek, but that’s for a different post.

What IMDB has to say about it

-Rose Mcgowan discovered that she could actually fit through a pet flap.

-To keep ‘Drew Barrymore’ looking scared and crying, director Wes Craven kept telling her real life stories about animal cruelty. She is a keen animal lover in real life.

-Janeane Garofalo turned down the role of Gail Weathers (Maybe she knew she would fall for David Arquette?).

How Bamf remembers it

Husband and wife say goodbye to college bound daughter.  Wife deals with empty nest, and starts seeing a dead woman who leaves clues of a husband’s infidelity.  Husband may be dating a walking skeleton (Calista Flockhart), but insists he would never sleep with a dead girl.  Wife finds truth, husband drugs her, we find out what lies beneath.

Why Bamf loves it

Robert Zemeckis is never afraid to take on something new be it with new film making technology or a different genre (he did do Tales from the Crypt for HBO, but that’s for the teli).  While production was on halt for Tom Hanks to lose a few pounds for Castaway, he used this film to explore a Hitchcockian way of storytelling.  The viewer is held in suspense as slow panning camera movements build tension for a fright that does not always happen.  This can be exhausting, especially if you are like me as I tend to hold my breath when I think the big scare is about to happen—but it’s never redundant.  The bathtub scene, when the wife is drugged by her husband and left to drown while still conscious, shows how you can paint horror without blood and guts.  I can recall the entire theater taking in gasps of air trying to fill Claire’s (Michelle Pfeiffer) lungs with their own oxygen; this story invests you, and then pays off.  It was also the first time I realized Harrison Ford points at someone with that gruff demanding finger in just about every film he does.

What IMDB has to say about it

-The beautiful Vermont home depicted in the film was built in its coastal setting for the day scenes only. After the film was over, it was torn down as it was not built according to codes. The rooms of the house were duplicated on an L.A. soundstage for the night scenes.

-Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford were director Robert Zemeckis’s first and only choices for the lead roles of Claire and Norman Spencer.

-When Michelle Pfeiffer lies stunned on the floor and the murderer leans over her face, the camera seemingly cranes down underneath the floor to look directly up at her face. The effect was created by using a glass floor. The solid floor at the start of the shot is drawn in by computer. A glass floor is also used when she drops the keys later on.

Brainscan

How Bamf remembers it

A social recluse with the best media center the 90’s has to offer plays a virtual reality game called Brainscan in which he murders a man and gets the rush of his life.  It becomes such a real experience that the murder he commits in the game, actually happens in the real world, and now the line between the game and reality has Michael (Edward Furlong) questioning whether he should play, or turn himself in.

Why Bamf loves it

Spoiler!  The twist ending of Brainscan while simple by today’s standard was mind blowing to me at age 14.  As it turns out, the entire story takes place inside the game.  Later Josef Rusnak would take the idea a step further with The Thirteenth Floor, otherwise known as the poor man’s Matrix.  That aside, I loved the idea of Furlongs character getting with the girl next door.  I think every boy has that fantasy, few get the chance.  Did I?  Maybe...

Sure the Trickster character seems like a douche bag, the metal music comes off a little stereotypical, but I had good times with this movie.  Brainscan should be put in a time capsule and sealed away for 50 years so the children’s children can fact check what we thought our gaming future might become.

What IMDB has to say about it

-In both Kyle and Kimberly’s room, you see an Aerosmith poster for Get a Grip, which has the track “Living on the Edge”. Edward Furlong starred in the video.

-George S. Clinton provided the score for the film. You know him from Mortal Kombat, the Austin Powers series, and not the song by Ice Cube called “Bop-Gun”. *bamfmdb

How Bamf remembers it

Nicole (Reese Witherspoon) learns as a teenager that your boyfriend (Mark Walberg rocking a Bostonian accent that would later get him a nod from the Academy for The De-pah-ted) only truly loves you if he has group sex with one friend (Alyssa Milano), beats another one up (some guy), and severs the family dogs head from its body.

Why Bamf loves it

This movie will creep any father of a girl out quite possibly more than the porn series titled “Some guys daughter”.  Sure, Nicole’s dad (William Peterson of CSI fame) tells her he’s no good, but what do fathers know?  Wahlberg brings an air of charm that makes you as conflicted on his motives as Senator Craig is with his sexuality.  That is until his character beats himself on the chest to create the illusion that Nicole’s father got physical with him, and then he pushes the dogs head through the pet door.  If you are still in his camp at that point, seek help, or write a book and go on Oprah.

But no, what I really love about this film is the soundtrack.  The film was short changed in its theatrical release, with about half the amount you would expect for the names attached—but that was before the principles had any star power.  Fear found its audience on home video, I pimped it out to every couple wanting a recommendation in my days as a high school video store clerk.  Fear has all the makings of a decent teen thriller.  Angst, suspense, little regard for parental authority and a scene involving a young girl’s sensual climax juxtaposed with a rollercoaster ride.  When it comes to a date movie, this is what you want in it, danger, and situations that get the girl thinking about sex.  That rollercoaster scene in particular was put to a proper cover of the Rolling Stones “White Horses” by The Sundays and also featured songs by Bush and Toad the Wet Sprocket (well they can’t all be good).  After making this recommendation to customers, I always would be asked upon return about why they couldn’t find the soundtrack in stores.  In the days before limewire and bittorrents, if you wanted a compilation, it was film soundtracks.  As I recall there was a story that the producers spent all the film capital they could on securing music rights for the movie, but did not pay to use said music for a soundtrack album.  This seems plausible enough if memory serves me right(but I cannot find a source), but then consider this is the last time you see Mark Wahlberg credited as Marky Mark for a song’s performance.  As sensitive as Wahlberg is to being called by that name, though less so now (look up a past Conan clip), maybe he put the kibosh on it like how Schwarzenegger would rather like the Bamf-favorite Pumping Iron documentary to go away because of the joint he smokes at the end. Maybe, maybe not.

What IMDB has to say about it

-Factual errors: The coded door lock is mechanical not electrical; therefore the “beeping” sound is fake and the door’s lock is in no way attached to the security system.

-Continuity: David swaps sides while driving a car.  (They wanted international appeal?)

-Continuity: The note that Nicole writes, and the note that David writes, both have the same handwriting.  (who says a man can not have nice hand writing? I do.)

An honorable mention goes to Event Horizon, which is a film that started me down the road of no longer watching horror films.  The guy I saw it with was so freaked out by the movie that he went home and crawled in bed with his mother.  No joke—he even went a step further by telling everyone at school about it the next day, this did little for his reputation.  Also The Blair Witch Project is worth mentioning.  When I went to see it the day was was sunny and beautiful, when I left storm clouds had formed and lightning struck everywhere. I thought the world was ending.  I went in to Blair Witch knowing nothing about it, when I left it seemed the world was ending.  It is difficult to quantify that experience in words here, but suffice it to say it will never occur again.  I could go on about the viral-marketing genius or the fact that anyone who saw it knew that it was not real, but still had a hanging question of doubt in their mind.  Months later the mystery was broken officially for me when I saw the lead Heather appear in a White Castle commercial while in Chicago.

If you want to know what the scariest movie I have ever seen is, all you have to do is read my review of Knocked Up.

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