This will be the new thread for jokes or any other funny material/articles, etc.
here’s one…
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a
gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics
the problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then
respond in writing on the lower half
of the form what remedial action was taken, and the
pilot reviews the gripe sheets before
the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Quantas pilots and the
solutions taken or indicated by the maintenance
engineers.
(By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has
never had an accident)
Legend:
( P: = Problem logged by the pilot.)
( S: = Solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to
stick.
S: That is what they’re for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief
search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right
and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Love,
Matt
Standard: Ideal 31-7-8
